What no one tells you about having a baby can blindside you with overwhelm and wanting to curl up in a ball of tears
I'm Talking about the Baby Blues
After seeing those two pink lines and you settled into the reality of becoming a mom, you started to dream and wonder... your mind floods with questions of the unknown. What is this baby going to look like? What is he/she going to be like? What kind of mom am I going to be? How is my life going to change? etc...
As time gets closer you fill with anticipation and excitement of finally meeting your little one. You start to prepare by doing a little research and figuring out... what items you need to have? Are you going to breastfeed? Co-sleep? What's the best carseat? Who do you want for a pediatrician?
So far all of the questions and preparations have been around the babies needs.
But... what about you?
Has anyone asked you "What are you doing to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally?"
This is a BIG question because 70%-80% of women experience the Baby Blues after giving birth? Yet you've probably never heard of the Baby Blues until now.
The Baby Blues is no joke and quite frankly SUCKS.
After having a baby there is a massive shift in your hormones. You become moody, irritable, restless, impatient, and weepy.
See what I mean about it sucking... it's not a pretty picture.
I bet this is not at all what you imagined it will be like. That moodiness and weepiness is far from what the movies and fairytales say about motherhood. Because your expectations doesn't match your experience you begin to think... I am a horrible mom... there is something wrong with me... I'm so alone... and down the rabbit hole you go.
It Doesn't Have to be this Way. It's all about being prepared.
Imagine this...you are just about to turn sweet 16. You're anticipating the magic that's going to happen the instant you go from 15 to 16. Your whole life is going to change, you don't exactly know how you just know deep down it's going to be spectacular...oh to be 16!
Your big day comes.
Your parents hand you a tiny box wrapped with a gold ribbon. You open it. Inside is a car key with a note that says "Happy Birthday! I know you've never been behind the wheel of a car but your an adult now. Safe travels."
EEERRRR...we would never do this! Putting someone behind the wheel of a car without preparing them first is a complete disaster! Total life threatening catastrophy!
Sending someone out behind the wheel of a car without preparation sounds total absurd because it is.
Yet, that's exactly what we do to moms-to-be everyday. We put her behind the parenting wheel without drivers-ed.
We do this by letting the mom-to-be think that having a baby is the most profound and incredible time in her life; there is nothing but joy and bliss. When she gets behind the mommy wheel and experiences something different she thinks she is a failure, all alone, and something is wrong with her. Leads to emotional and mental catastrophies.
No more unpreparedness You're ready for your baby now it's time for YOU.
I'm going to be straight with you right out of the gate. No matter how much you prepare for the Baby Blues you might, most likely, still experience the Baby Blues.
That's totally ok and normal, you are human after all.
The difference is when you prepare for the Baby Blues you can move through it gracefully. You'll have the support you need. You'll have a loving and understanding mindset around what you are going through.
You'll move through the tough moments easier so you can enjoy more moments with your little one.
Are you Ready?
I've been where you are.
As a first time mom I only knew what to prepare for by what other people shared with me. I had my birthing plan and what I needed for my baby to meet her needs and make her comfortable. But...as far as what to expect after all I got was "You'll be fine. You've got this."
I wasn't fine.
I felt like I was drowning. I couldn't keep up with the house stuff, everything was a mess. The more the mess piled up the more stressed I became. It seemed like my whole day was all about breastfeeding and changing diapers. I was home most of the day with just me and my little girl. My mind was desperate for adult conversations. I seriously thought I was going to loose my mind. During the long mind-numbing days my thoughts became critical - You're home all day you should be able to do more. All the other moms seem to have their shat together, why don't you? Why aren't you happy?
I was too embarrassed to ask for help or share with my partner what I was experiencing. I didn't want to admit that there was something wrong with me. Especially when everyone around me was so happy. I put on a smile and pretended like I was honky dory. Hiding only lasted so long. Eventually the foul gunk that was brewing inside came out. It was ugly, causing a lot of chaos in my life and relationships.
It wasn't until 4 years later I learned that I had the Baby Blues that turned into postpartum depression.
I started opening up, sharing my experience with other moms. They confessed they went through the exact same thing and feeling all alone.When I look back I wish someone had told me about this all too common experience moms have.
I realized it doesn't have to be this way.
I am here to help you have a different experience and support you beyond the birth of your little one.