0-1 year Baby blues/Postpartum

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0- 1 year Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression

Baby Blues

Did you know 70% -80% of women experience the BABY BLUES after giving birth?

That's HUGE!

Eventhough most women experience the BABY BLUES they are caught off guard because our culture has shaming around it. 

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

As a mother to a newborn, be it your first or your tenth baby, it's freakin hard and transformative. 

After having a baby it's common to feel waves of emotions and experience things like...

  • Moodiness
  • Crying
  • Sadness
  • Worry
  • Lack of concentration
  • Forgetfulness
  • Feelings of dependancy

It's so easy to feel alone at this time when every around you is happy and joyous and you are experiencing something other than that. 

It can feel alienating when you are told to "get over it" or "it will pass".

You are not alone. It is NORMAL to experience the BABY BLUES. 

The baby blues start within the first week of postpartum after a sudden drop in hormones, the physical and emotional stress of giving birth, sleep deprevation, or the awareness and fear about the responsibility of being a parent. 

The good news...Baby Blues are usually gone by week three. 

Until then be kind and patient with yourself. Ask your partner, family, or friends to give a helping hand with cleaning, cooking, and time to sleep.

Care during the Baby Blues

This is an essential period to practice self-love by taking time for yourself and get your needs met. 

If you're thinking self-care is selfish or you feel guilty taking time for yourself. I invite you to question that belief. 

Your baby needs you. If you are broken down, falling apart, and can't function from a lack of self-care can you be there for your little one?

If the answer is NO be sure to prioritize daily self-care practices. 

For inspiration and help with self-care join me for a FREE workshop. 

Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression Need to Knows

FREE MONTHLY WORKSHOP

Last Friday of the month 6 pm PST

  • What are the Baby Blues?
  • What is Postpartum Depression?
  • How are they different?

PLUS: 5-POWERFUL TOOLS TO GET YOU THROUGH THE Early CHALLENGES OF MOTHERHOOD 

Postpartum Depression

While the Baby Blues will normally fade naturally after a few weeks POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION (PPD) does not. It is more intense and hangs around longer. If you are experiencing PPD it's hard to move through this without unbiased help to work through it.

Postpartum depression affects 1 in 10 mothers. It starts within the first year and can last for years.

You might not even realize it at first because postpartum depression can creep in.

Signs of postpartum depression

Postpartum depression (PPD) can hit you like a ton of bricks or creep in without you realizing the changes at first. 

Here is a list of some of the things you may experience with PPD:

  • Excessive worry or fear
  • Irritability or short temper
  • Feeling overwhelmed 
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Sadness
  • Hopelessness
  • Feelings of guilt
  • Sleep problems
  • Fatigue or exhaustion
  • Discomfort around the baby or a lack of feeling toward the baby
  • Loss of focus and concentration 
  • Loss of interest or pleasure, lower sex drive
  • Changes in appetite 

Postpartum depression 0-1 year, the grief period

I believe the first year of postpartum depression is about grief. You are grieving the loss of your former self. 

The moment your baby comes into this world and you become a mother your life instantly transforms. You now have this little being completely dependant on you for its survival and demands that you turn your world upside down; requiring your attention 24/7. This period can feel so overwhelming and out of control because your life no longer has the structure it once had, you are now living in the moment and your time is being dictated by a little human.

Everything changes at this point.

First, you are adjusting to a whole new flow in life. You are exhausted from a lack of sleep, you don't get stuff done when you want, and taking care of your needs is bare minimum at best. If this was all you had to deal with that would be more than enough. 

Then you add grief to the mix.

We don't think of having a baby as a time of grief but it most definately is. You are saying goodbye to your old self, your childless life, friends, hobbies, etc...Having a baby transforms you, it challenges your beliefs...your priorities. This is grief. 

The problem is most of us don't associate having a baby with grief and so we don't allow ourselves time and space to grieve. We don't seek appropriate help needed to grieve. We turn towards friends and family to help us through this stage but they don't understand giving bad or misguided advice, or say things like..."just buck up and tough it out"..."I don't get what the big deal is"..."you have so much to be happy about. Instead of being helpful those comments are alienating and we internalize it thinking there is something wrong with us. We go on silently punishing ourselves. 

Support Selected Just for You Group Coaching

You are here because you are in year one of postpartum, experiencing signs of depression, and you are ready to get back to yourself. 

 

I'm sharing my postpartum depression story with you, because I want you to feel inspired and that it's possible to use your experience to fuel your tranformation into motherhood...

For me postpartum depression started out with a lack of connection to my baby, I knew she was incredible and I had love for her but I couldn't connect. There were no tears of joy swelling in my eyes when I looked at her or this intense feeling of love. Instead I felt numb going through the actions of taking care of her. Overwhelming guilt came over me as I thought about myself as an inadequate mother. My baby deserved to be loved, not cared for by someone who felt nothing inside.

Every day I felt like a failure as I tried to keep up with the house chores, taking care of myself and my little girl. I compaired myself to the "perfect mom" stereotype and other moms on social media which added to my feeling of being a failure. 

As I watched everyone swoon over my little girl I felt like I had become invisible and I was nothing more than a milk dispenser. In many ways I became resentful of my baby because she had become the center of everyones attention and I was forgotten about silently rotting in my own private misery. I no longer found joy in life and had forgotten who I was; there was nothing left of me. 

I didn't want to admit to myself and everyone else that there was something wrong so I didn't seek help, instead I faked it so it looked like I had everything together on the outside. Even now when I look back at the pictures of myself and my little girl I have a hard time seeing the internal pain I was going through.

When I was really feeling desperate for help I would occassionally reach out to someone and share that there was something wrong, that internally I was in a lot of pain. With each reach I came away feeling more alone by there response..."it gets easier, you'll get over it"..."but you have so much to be grateful for"..."you have such a great life". I felt alienated by these responses and even more broken. I decided to push my feelings deeper inside and ignore them thinking everything would go away. 

Boy was I wrong!

The more I tried to ignore it the worse it got. Eventually the dead feeling turning to pure resentment towards my husband and I was angry about everything. 

I was angry at my husband. I was angry that I didn't love my daughter the way she deserved. I was angry that I was all alone in this misery. I was angry that I didn't know how to help myself. I was angry that all I could feel was anger. 

This went on for years gradually getting more intense. Finally I couldn't take it any longer. I was so desperate to get away from the inner pain and not being understood I jumped out of our moving vehicle and ran down a nearby trail. I sat on that trail crying like I had never cried before desperately praying for help. This was the turning point for me. I was not going to except this state of being anymore. I was going to become the mom my daughter could look upto.

I found healing, not through typical talk therapy or medications but through breathwork, meditation, mind/body connection, and journaling. 

I realized that prior to my daughter I was disconnected from my body...my emotions. I didn't trust my intuition. 

My daughters birth was also my birth. Postpartum depression cracked me open to my emotions which got me to connect and trust my intuition at a deeper level. It was here that I found the warrior inside of me that will stop at nothing. To keep going when I have failed. To keep evolving into the mother that I can be proud of. It is in this place I can be the rollmodel of self-love, strength, and empathy. 

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